I’ve come across this idea more than once, the idea that someone can be ‘forced to believe’ in something, or ‘forced to love’ someone.
That is just ridiculous.
You either believe something or you don’t. You can’t be forced to believe something. You may be brainwashed to accept some things. You can be forced to acknowledge other things. But you can’t be forced to believe something.
If you don’t, you don’t. If you do, no matter how shocking it is, then you do.
To believe that one can be ‘forced to love’ is even stranger and more laughable. You either love or you don’t. If you’ve been forced to love, you probably don’t. You’d probably hate. If you have to be beaten to love, you may obey but that is most definitely not love.
There have been strange circumstances for which people cannot understand why one might believe in something or love someone. “It’s impossible,” they declare. “that someone should believe in this/love this person. They must have been forced to.”
And I look at the said fools who believe and who love wholeheartedly, who don’t feel or think they have been forced, who love sincerely, not out of fear but simply because they love, they do love. It seems to me that no one has forced these happy fools to be joyful or to revel in this love. They aren’t putting on a show for people to prove they are really in love. They’re just living as they are, living in the love and growing in it.
It is the people who are outside of the relationship, who find it impossible to believe that there can be such a love, that try to justify why someone may act the way they do. “Because they have been forced to.”
The fools in love don’t have to prove to anyone else that they are in love, that they are truly joyful where they are at. They are personally happy. They know of such a love and they believe in its truth. They certainly don’t seem ‘forced’ to do anything they don’t want to and indeed, they won’t be forced to do what they won’t. How can one even begin to be ‘forced to love’?
Yet, when they do try to explain that they really are well and not doing what they don’t want to, they get accused as ‘being deluded’ by themselves. “This love is impossible. You are deluding yourselves. You just made it all up to comfort yourself and give yourselves hope.” The crowd sneers.
Why should the crowd know better when they aren’t in the relationship themselves? They wouldn’t understand it from the outside.
You would never understand the fruits of a love which you scorn. You won’t experience the comfort, peace, strength and joy I get because you think I am ‘deluding’ myself. I don’t have to prove to you that I do enjoy these blessings of love, and that I’m not making them up. I’m enjoying them. I know that in all my weakness, I should never have the capability to empower myself by such delusions no matter how strong my imaginations are. There is a limit to me, to all of us. I cannot go past that limit to try to strengthen myself. I am too weak for that. And any hope that I make up for myself, well, how can that be any sort of hope? If you think that true, what do you think am I hoping in? Myself, knowing all my shortcomings? Knowing that I have almost zero control in life? That would be too depressing to be a hope.
I know this love personally. It’s not proven by science or hard facts or anything like that but it is real enough to me. It’s real enough to get me through a harrowing day, to steady me through class presentations, to share a moment of happiness and care with my friends and to comfort me when I failed a test. I can’t explain how real that is. And I don’t have to. I don’t have to convince anyone I’m joyful by my choice of my love and my friend.
If I do share my love, I do not share it to show how impervious I am to life, nor do I share it out of arrogance. I share it because it is good and like any good thing, I would want you to experience it for yourself.
No one can force anyone to love. I love because I was first loved. That’s really all there is to it. And that’s a great thing for me.
If I am the fool in love (and I am a fool in love), a person in love who is labelled a fool by all the intellectuals and all the logical people of this world, then let me be. Let me be the fool.
Mock me or scorn me or pity me. It’s not me who loses out, scorning something I don’t understand. It’s you.
I am the one growing and benefitting from this love, whether you see it or not. I’m the one who has her joy doubled and her sorrows shared. I’m the one who gets to hide under His wings of peace in stormy times. I’m the one who gets comforted in grief. I’m the one who gets strengthened to work.
So let me be a fool. Let me love.