You know the feeling when you’re walking along a busy road and you’re just absorbed in doing your thing and then you see a flower in the crack of a pavement and you just stop to look at it because it’s almost restful?
Today, this post is my flower stop. (Like pitstop, geddit? But prettier. Ok, moving on.)
I’m not writing about anything in particular. It’s actually almost about nothing. (Beckett moment. Wow, never thought I’d have a Beckett moment ever. Not doing it as a philosophical statement of life or anything, though.) It’s nice sometimes, to have a ‘nothing’ moment, just some space to mosey a bit. If you’re into the whole ‘stream of consciousness’ sort of writing, you’re most welcomed to stay and read on, glimpse a little of my mind. If you were hoping for a kind of structured piece with some content, I’m obliged to give you a little warning, you may be disappointed and you should go on and continue with your life. No sarcasm intended. Unless of course, you’re doing homework or something and need a distraction. You might as well read on right, since you’re already here.
It’s in the middle of another school day. I don’t usually write in the middle of days. I write at night when I’m done with whatever I needed to do in the day so that I can just write and write without stopping.
And yet, here I am.
I’ll be honest. This is an attempt to ward off the post-lunch food coma that’s threatening me now.
I’ve got weird Thursdays this semester. I have this extraordinarily long break from 11.30 in the morning to 4.30 in the evening where I have my next class. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. There wasn’t supposed to be this 4.30 class today but due to some administrative issues, I got stuck with thissssss out-of-place class. (The word ‘administrative’ always sounds so grown up-ish. I like to use it to boost my maturity cred but I do not like to hear this word as a reason for something or another. It sounds so complicated.)
I tried hanging around the library last week, just to wait for classes to start. It was such an arggghhhh. So this week I thought I’d just come back and then make a second trip for the 4.30 class.
Which leaves me in a dangerously precarious situation of having my bed next to me while I’m battling food coma.
You do see why I’m here.
I miss my movie classes, the elective I took last semester which allowed me to watch whole movies during the lecture and then talk about the techniques used in a school forum. The lecturer wasn’t the most engaging but all the techie stuff made me feel like I knew something about filming movies, like a real professional. And the post I wrote on Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, a film I got to know through the class, is actually garnering really exotic views, so my stats page says. I don’t exactly know why but views just trickle in even if there isn’t a Bollywood craze going on but I find myself marvelling at how the timelessness of this old show is still rippling on till today. It’s really cool.
I’m taking a linguistic course this semester with a lecturer who is really into what she teaches. She’s really interesting and funny which I think comes a bit from being well-travelled. Linguistic seems rather related to psychology, at least for me and I’m supposed to revise the stuff I learnt so far from the lectures after I finish this stump of a post.
I feel so inarticulate today. I’ve befriended an exchange student from China who texts me in Mandarin and it takes me such a long while to reply her because I cannot construct decent sentences in Mandarin. I keep re-checking my grammar and everything before I actually send my text.
I’m not particularly articulate in English today either. I got another text and I also took a while to compose a reply for that one, although admittedly, it was difficult because it was someone I hadn’t spoken to for a while and was from an adult (which is always hard for me because I still think I’m a child so then the relationship gets weird and I don’t know what’s considered polite or rude).
I’d also been feeling cluttered of late. Cluttered with words. But not the kind where I’m full of thoughts and I just need to get it all out here. It’s more like, cluttered with meaningless words. My head’s just filled with words and voices and sounds but none of it is able to express what I feel or what I want. Words just seem so inadequate. And that’s a big deal for me because words are what I consider the main medium for me to express something. Maybe it’s just one of those times where you’re just so overwhelmed by this one area of your life that it suddenly fails you, and you don’t want it because it’s noisy.
Yea, I don’t know if I’m making sense. I’m still recovering a bit from my ’empty my mind’ phase. I miss my piano, my music.
Ok, I shall wrap this up now. Stay strong, guys! The weekends are just around the corner! Hang in there and have a great day ahead! 😀