Consider This

Consider this.

Imagine that my father gave me a new dress, a lovely dress, as a token of how much he loves me.

But imagine that I take that dress and give it a new meaning completely irrelevant to my father’s intentions, something like, “When my father wants me to wear this dress, it means I can do whatever I want, exactly as I like, regardless of the people around me.”

So whenever my father wants me to wear the dress (for special occasions and events like family dinners), I’ll put it on and think “I have my father’s support and blessing to act however badly I want since he told me to wear this dress.” Then I go on a rampage and be mean to my sister and bully my brother and be rude to all my relatives and guests.

I have redefined the meaning of my father allowing me to wear this dress into something completely irrelevant with his original intentions (which is perhaps, simply for me to look nice) so I take his request for me to wear this dress as support for my disruptive behaviour and I go about proudly acting the fool because I think that my father supports me doing so. He did tell me to wear the dress, right?

Yes, he told you to wear the dress.

But he did not say that wearing it allowed you to be a spoilt little kid. You conjured that up yourself. He never mentioned anything of the sort.

When your father gives you the dress, remember what he gave it to you for. He gave it to you so that you would know how much he loves you and that you will know him and be the person he wants you to be.

Don’t misuse it and confer some other meaning of your own onto it, and then wear it as your father’s unconditional favour and support.

That’s not how love works.

If you loved him back, you’d know.

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