As of now, unless I’m busy and out running errands, I’m the most pensive in the afternoons.
Mostly because it’s night at home and everybody there will be turning in so I just feel a bit out of place, alone and adrift in this world. Actually, I feel out of place all the time. Headspace and physical space still needs to sync. Still don’t have any homework or readings to distract me so all this space just makes me a little lonely.
I guess I could jumpstart on my readings, or practice the uke. Stuff.
Video-called a homie last night who’s also away on exchange and seems to have a lot of free time too. So that was good. It was fun. I kind of miss my very down-to-earth homies. I felt better, but I usually feel ok at night.
My suitcase is still on the floor filled with most of everything. It’s like a horizontal closet, because my own closet isn’t big enough.
Did some grocery shopping. Bought bread and instant soup and cookies today.
Also bought some of my books.
Cooked my first meal here yesterday! Rice and steamed some dark soya sauce beef which was a little funny but only because it was beef and not pork which is how Gramma makes it back home. A little on the small portion side but otherwise, not too bad. Quite proud of myself.
Cooking made me feel better. Before I cooked I tried to nap because Mother was whatsapping her goodnights and pretty much set off the waterworks. Pre-dinner/afternoons are the worst. Unpacking my suitcase when I first got here was terrible too, because there’d be food and stuff rolled up and in packed down in my clothes, the way Mother and Gramma crammed so that I could get just a little more in. As I got everything out, I could still hear the little bits of advice and nagging about hangers (“I’ll put them here ok”) and cutlery (“Get more there, there’s no space”) tumble out with my things. Sniff. Yep.
Got a free plate and bathroom rag too at the charity shop. Yay free things.
Going to cook my dinner now. Was quite excited thinking about it but not really now because I’m in a mood. Wells, it usually gets better when the food starts coming along. Because yay food.