On Words

I feel that I’m losing myself, the voice I love so much, over things that shouldn’t matter as much as they should.

Perspective perspective. Go back and start again. Also,

Do you know you have so much power

That throws us all into a frenzy

You think too little of yourself

and yet too much

I feel completely incompetent to deal with the wordplay and the feelings behind them. I only do words in isolation, when there’s a chance it doesn’t matter. Like here. My own head space.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the one who stirs things. On that irrational selfish need to feel validated or better than someone else.

You know how when you watch a drama, there’s always this clueless character who makes things worse because he/she is sooo oblivious to what’s right and wrong to say? That’s me. The one with good intentions that get mangled up along the way, by his incompetency/foolishness or just by himself, his pride. The audience watching the drama would know exactly what’s going on and the effects of what he said/did (dat omniscient POV) and they’d yell at the screen in the vain hope that the characters would listen to them.

I feel like I need this kind of direction. I need direction from someone completely fair and removed. From someone who knows everything. From who knows what’s the right thing to do.

Dear God, please yell your instructions at me and please let me hear them so that I won’t do dumb stuff.

I know this isn’t about me. But I don’t like how at-a-loss I feel. Where’s the wisdom that comes from above?

How how. Can I take cover in silence?

Yet, I feel that is not my part.

Words words words. So important.

Yours is the most important.

My beloved brothers, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires.

James 1:19-20 (Berean)

Like apples of gold in settings of silver
Is a word spoken in right circumstances.
Like in earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold
Is a wise reprover to a listening ear.

Proverbs 25:11-12 (NASB)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

Love goes two ways,

and I hope that someday

you can love and be loved,

that the old wounds and hurts might be healed in time,

and that past fears may become your strength;

that you might find joy in the friendship

the doubling of your joys

the sharing of your burdens,

with a heart that is a harbour for others,

as well as yourself.

Good friends are hard to find and are too precious to lose. They’re the family you choose for yourself, the ones that make you think, make you grow, make you you.

I want to be your friend, the one that cares and loves that we may fully enjoy the blessings of a wonderful friendship together because you have been a friend to me and I have been blessed by you.

And we do care and we do love. That’s why it hurts but it’s not going to stop us from caring and loving you and others. We may be doing it wrong, but believe us, we do love.

It’s just left for you to realise that.

 

 

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