Cry if you need to cry. 

I will never try to get out of it because its the season God wants me to go through to prepare me for the next season.

– a friend



According to her 

my life is a mess

In her eyes it’s always

“What are you doing”

“I don’t know what it is you’re thinking”


I’m just

Trying to


According to her

My life is a mess

And I’m starting to believe her

Alpha Away

Where do I begin?

Why is every other post starting like this? Need to get my head together, this whirlwind, and put this all down somewhere.

Ok, um, ok. I think I got it. I think. So.

Let me try to do this from a new perspective, like from a ‘it’s not all about me’ perspective.

Holy Spirit retreat this weekend. That is, a two day one night thing away from life life to learn more about the Holy Spirit as part of the Alpha course. So I’ve been sporadically going for this thing my church is doing called the Alpha course. It’s basically like Christianity 101 for people who are curious about what the big deal is about God and the Bible and a place where they can ask all their questions. I’m currently in the Youth Alpha, so there are these pretty bite-sized and thought-provoking videos for us every week on different topics like “Who is Jesus?” and stuff like that. We’re somewhere in the middle of the course by now and the topic for the retreat was on the Holy Spirit.

Here are the videos we watched these couple of days. They aren’t very long and it’ll kind of give you some context as to what I’m going on about.

Alpha Youth Episode 8 Who is the Holy Spirit and What Does He do?

Alpha Youth Episode 9 How Can I Be Filled With the Holy Spirit?

Bottom line for me at least:

  • Holy Spirit is a person, that is, it’s a He, not an It
  • He’s equal with the Father and Son persons of the Godhead Trinity
  • He awesome

I’ve always had a confused idea of the Holy Spirit and I still don’t get everything about Him but that’s ok. God is a mystery I’ll spend my whole life figuring out haha. I think the word that throws me off the most is the word ‘spirit’. It makes me think of like, ghosts and stuff. And He is referred to as the Holy Ghost in some translations so He was always like a even more intangible version of the Father-Son image of God. When I pray, I don’t think I even refer to Him in prayers. It’s always ‘Father’ and ‘Jesus’. But I do know that the Holy Spirit is there, He is in me and He is working to change me.

Continue reading “Alpha Away”


When you wish to leave where you are

and nothing moves you

the one time you wish to be tossed by waves

and you find that nothing can touch you

When even the softest strains of a song eludes you

and all that you are is found in silence

nothing can reach you where you are

But at the end of the day

you realise that there are no words

for that which does not need to be said

Borrow from the mouths of others

Sing them like they belong to you

Meet them where they were

Follow them where they went

Everyone has so much in common 

Strangers stop being strangers

They are merely passing reflections

of who you were, who you are, who you could be

Let it come from the heart

Only what is inside can break through that which is