Dribbles

Dribbling again because not coherent enough to not be a baby about everything.

I think I’m getting quite lazy to put my thoughts into structured pieces that can convey ideas. And then I use fragments and streams of consciousness to just spew. All in the name of the aesthetic. Can I have points for honesty anyway.

I will try harder. Maybe not today. Lol procrastinates. But I will try.

Literature is losing a sheen on me and I think it’s mutual.

Generally being a bit disillusioned that the philosophers and thinkers and theorists that academics and intellectuals esteem are just…thus. For all of humanity’s genius and intellect, this is the best we can come up with? This is their explanation for the Human Condition?

So many blindspots. So many gaps and places and possible explanations that our great thinkers are not considering.

They do sound impressive. They are interesting. They point out a lot of flaws and problems and aspects of this multi-faceted, complex human condition. I do identify. They can perceive the wrongness of things, because we all are humans and we know it in our bones, reflecting and conversing long enough.

It’s just augh because they just stop short of considering a bit more widely, where they don’t want to go. They circumnavigate some essential aspects of human-hood in posing the problem and in constructing perspectives. How are you going to get a well-considered, meaningful dialogue if you don’t want to recognise humanity in all its “parts”?

I think I’m also frustrated because, without recognising the value of certain aspects, there is so little to go on. Intellectual discourse can only swirl at the bottom of the tea cup in the dregs. Can we please get some freshly boiled hot water in here for the tea

It’s not that these conversations and papers are not valuable. They are, at a certain level. There is a place for these thoughts, at level one and two of understanding and perceiving and re-writing. But it never reaches level 3 of transferring it across and enacting change. And if we are going to stop short of that, what is it forr? It’s not enough.

I guess, very unlikely for me, this dialogue feels a little -.- because it’s just a mite too theoretical. 🙄 (Wow, I have become practical.) I think it’s just the idea of “Oh wow, this sounds so enlightened over zoom but how about you try to use this to inform all other aspects of lived life?” I’d like to see that, smarty-pants.

Ok, sorry, salty. And it’s not as if I’m brilliant either. Let me just sigh at our collective human wisdom which is only comparable to the foolishness of God.

I just feel that theorists don’t remember/consider that if it’s going to be a theory/paradigm, it has to work/make sense across all aspects of humanity. If it were just to work for one category, it’s not distilled enough to address humanity. It will just be two-dimensional and conflated and not as valuable as it sounds. If it can only answer one aspect but you bring it across elsewhere and it problematises another, that’s not good enough. The theories have to inform education, parenthood, society, everything.

So intentionally circumnavigating a grand narrative ah. 😒 smh.

Also, Theory B criticising Theory A means Theory B has to present a better, more convincing way for filling the gaps that Theory A filled and so was probably not competent in one out of 3 aspects (which is precisely the one Theory B chooses to re-write).

If you can’t, you’re not helping, Theory B.

But also, I know that my idea of category varies from theorist to theorist. How do we want to cut the cake? We aren’t very good at being consistent about how to decide which are the most constructive ways of cutting. Because also we don’t know which direction is constructive anymore.

Honestly, what’s the point of stirring the cup and trying to keep the leaves afloat when there is little/no water. where is the progress. how fulfilling am I suppose to feel in such conversation.

Ok, I’ve started self-censoring because idk I might have offended someone by now and my pacifist overthinking glob is a bit scattered.

Maybe I sound like I know what I’m talking about. But also, if we are just going to circle around what’s important instead of taking it by the horns, I don’t have much to say?

And I feel a bit apologetic about that, that I don’t have much to contribute.

What is my place in this discourse ungh

 

Yes, if truth is not undergirded by love, it makes the possessor of that truth obnoxious and the truth repulsive.

Ravi Zacharias

Also just painfully aware that my place is not to make the truth obnoxious lolol.

Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind —

Emily Dickinson

This is going to be a theme.

Patience.