Won

This post. Took a while in coming together. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. But stuff happened.

And then after stuff happened, it took me another while to sit down and write it all out. Because (sigh) I don’t want those of you who personally know me to notice my appearance more than usual, any more than if I actually talked to you about it, that is.

Hi there. This was suppose to be a friendly post/update on my health and wellness regarding my hyperthyroidism. It really was. It was going to go along the lines of:

So I got fat. Hwahaha.

I had the whole post planned out in my head because I’d found it funny. I’d found it funny that mum and gramma seemed to think that I’d put on some weight when I didn’t think so. I just couldn’t see what they saw. I honestly thought I looked the same. So I didn’t mind that they were fussing over the reading on the scale (which astonished me because it did reflect that I’d gained a bit).

I was fine with it, the gain. Because I really couldn’t see what they were going on about.

They were very insistent though, and they had the scale to prove it. And they began drumming in well-intentioned advice regarding my diet and asking if I had been exercising regularly (which I had been doing by the way. I’d never been so into the whole exercise thing as I had been then).

It finally got to me.

Just a little while longer and I’ll tell you all about it

Because when I tell it I want to tell you that I won

st ENDS

Was in class today and had a bit of an epiphany. 

So I was sitting behind this girl in French today, and she was wearing this black tee with an odd pattern and letters on the back. It had a kind of a boomerang/ chicken thigh/kidney bean shape with a jagged edge on one side. In the kidney bean were the letters ‘st ENDS’. 

It took me a long while to figure out that it was one of those matchy couple shirts, the kind where you and your bestie wear together so that when you both stand side by side, your shirts would read ‘best FRIENDS’ in the middle of a complete heart where the two boomerangs meet in a zigzag crack. 

And it just made me think; imagine if I didn’t know that the shirt came in pairs,  or that the one shirt was just a half of something else, that it wasn’t complete on its own. 

I would never have known or figured out what it really meant, not with just ‘st ENDS’. I could make up an acronym for it, make meaning out of it, or take it as a random scribble, a spelling mistake. I could rack my brains, running around in circles, trying to make sense of it. But I never will because I don’t have the other half of the picture, I don’t know the other shirt exists. ‘st ENDS’ is my be all end all. Dead end. 

Well, not in this case per so cos I was so genius to have figured it out. Cos it was a t shirt. Lel.

But imagine if it wasn’t just something small like a shirt where I can zoom out pretty easily and catch on. Imagine if it were bigger and people didn’t know that the ‘be FRI’ shirt existed. 

Life’s like that. 

Everyone is wearing a shirt, a full shirt, but only half a message. Everyone is just a ‘st ENDS’. Maybe that’s enough for some people. Maybe for others, that’s just all life is. ‘st ENDS’, whatever that means. Maybe people will marker in their own message, try and make sense of two ‘st ENDS’ shirts put together. 

But it doesn’t work like that. It was never made to a whole message by itself. 

Guess who be wearing the ‘be FRI’ shirt on my life. 

Aye I really can’t say anything else but there’s only one person who is wearing that ‘be FRI’ shirt, only one person who can make sense of all us other ‘st ENDS’ shirts. 

Yas, my Jesus is wearing my best friend shirt. 

Life only makes sense when Jesus is in the picture. In a way, God made the shirts, to show us we belong together. It doesn’t add up with us on our own. He’s trying to show us there’s more to it, that finding the other half will make perfect sense. He gave us a better way, he gave us Jesus, who wears the other half, so that we might have life and have it to the full. Walking alongside Jesus means that we can have that amazing BFF relationship with God, and we can go around loving with a full heart. 

So yes don’t go around on your as just a ‘st ENDS’ in a kidney bean. You’re so much more than that. Life’s too short. And don’t settle on some handmade second best other half of a shirt. Settle for the best. 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 

John 10:10

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5