Today

11.30 pm and I’m stuffing myself with nutella/peanut butter bread with chocolate frosting. And I’m not even that hungry. I had dinner at 9ish, dinner consisting of rice, two chicken drumsticks, an attempt at an egg souffle and veggies.

How am I suppose to not get fat like thiss.

I’m just pretty awake now even though it’s late.

My day went something like this: (Sorry in advance, this is so runny and such a blow by blow of my day today. Just trying to get the writing voice back and stuff. )

Had my honey oatmeal with banana and pb for breakfast before hitting the gym (danggg always wanted to use that phrase so casually. You have no ideah how much effort it takes to go to the gym). We had a rotten weather today, grey and wet, but I still managed to haul myself to gym so yay. Extra points for me please. Did my cardio on the elliptical thingamajig (200 calories!). Only just found out it was called an elliptical. Did some weights and stuff while envying the muscles on everyone else. Like, how do you do pushups and burpees and planking non-stop? I cannot. I feel like these are the really effective ones that’s why they’re so hard and I should do them cos they probably work the best but. But. No. I doubt I can even do ten burpees. I tried doing the girl pushups properly today. I think I could hit about five before I had to stop. And I planked for something like 20-30 secs. 😦 I used to be able to do a minute. I’d practiced to get there. Gone with the wind now. Sighhh. Also, I don’t like cardio. I know it’s the kind of thing you can do everyday and it burns your calories and stuff but I don’t like it. I just do it as an obligation of working out. Like, even if I don’t feel like pushing myself today, at least I did cardio and burnt something. I want to do more weights. I feel like they can burn too and build muscle which I’m all about. Muscleee.

Lol typing out all I did at the gym makes me feel better stuffing my face now.

I was really into the gymming and health and wellness stuff for a bit, planning my two breakfasts (before and after gym) and counting my calories. But it made me miserable. So not counting them anymore. Made a few more ‘healthier’ choices though. Switched my white bread and rice to brown. I think it’ll make somee difference, hopefully. I’m not into bread anymore since the switch. I think brown bread doesn’t set off the butter taste that well, so weaning off my bread obsession. Brown rice is really crunchy though. I needed to add loads of water and wait for it to cook for forever before it gets soft. Basically trying to hit the 2:1:1 ratio for meals, that is, 2 parts veggie, 1 part carb and 1 part meat. But it’s hard. I love my meat and carbs. It usually goes 1:3:2 haha 3 being my carbs. Still, baby steps.

Came back and ate three slices of bread tho, but they were small slices. Plus a bowl of cereal. Tried Ryan’s new protein loaded cereal which was not so hot haha he’d blended it cos the pieces were so big and it became kinda like a tasteless oatmeal lelel. Haha this is becoming my food diary now. Food’s important to me so if there is a change, it’s worthy enough to talk about. Ryan was showing me his Tinder matches too but not his profile! boo Ryan and we talked about Jon’s 700 imaginary girlfriends hahaha seriousleh Jon. Didd consider Tinder for a while but I don’t really wanna put my face out there and have awkward conversations. Until now, I have no idea how to keep a e-convo going. Ryan just wanted to see me pick guys and how I would do it but there wasn’t wifi in the kitchen so oh wells. Next time ahaha. Probably going to psychoanalyse and read all the descriptions for the first few and then give up and pick them based on their photos.

Took a shower and fell right back asleep for an hour, then woke up for lunch haha. Such is life. Eat sleep eat sleep. Fat die. Made two tortillas with bacon bits, some veggie salad and scrambled eggs. I think I had more cereal. And more bread. I eat cereal and bread all day er day.

Then Jon, Ryan and I cabbed down to the theatre to catch Guys and Dolls. I think I liked it better than Joseph because the sound system was better. The sound system on Joseph was so loudd, it was too loud for my poor ears and I think I covered them for the whole show and must have looked like an unappreciative person. Paid more attention for Guys and Dolls. Probably will review it separately. In case I don’t though, in short, I did like the chorus songs, the brassy band sound, the dude who played Sky (dat voice tho) and the whole vintage setting (costume and accent). The chorus songs were gorge, everyone was so tight and the sound was so huge and lovely, even if there are canons and different lines. Gorge. Then they would dance and everything with the whole light bulb retro setting. Much high school musical. Better. I like. Also loved all those swag brass. So retro it was gorge. Didn’t care much about Sky until he sang. That last note for his gambling game song was the bomb. So bootiful. And all in all loved the retro feels. All the skirts and fitting tops and all the matching suits and hats. Hats should come back and be a thing. Got some of those dresses at a vintage sale but I dunno it I’ll be able to pull it off in our current time. Lel sorry this is so sketchy because I mean to put up something more well thought out and detailed with the songs and actors and stuff. May touch on Joseph too which I realize I never mentioned before.

Had tea break with Ryan at the Chinese supermarket. Shared our many thoughts and opinions over a matcha cake. I don’t think I was making sense most of the time lol lol. It’s a bit of a new experience for me. Much civil conversation on a pretty touchy topic from a really personal POV. I wish I could know what to say and what not to (again again). I wish that when I share God I could do it from a more personal POV and not like just a “the bible says” way. Like, yea it’s good to know scripture. But God is a living person and he touches me and works in me and speaks to me. He’s alive. I wish I could talk about Him as a person, a friend, instead of some distant figure with info I’m pulling off his wiki page.

Also Ryan, if you’re reading this, it was a lovely and much deep conversation and I did appreciate you trying not to offend/debate me but you don’t gotta be so apologetic over erthing hahaha. I know you’re trying to be pc (what with the recent turn of events lol) but I know where you’re coming from, like, not with ill intentions, just curious and genuinely interested in what I’m saying and I do appreciate thatt. Haha thank you for taking the time to talk about stuff with me and for really trying to respect very diverse opinions. Just that, you don’t gotta belittle your own experiences in the process. Your experiences are as valid as other people’s yea. Love how you stand up for something and explain why without bulldozing everyone to do the same and listening to why people may disagree or have different opinions. Sorry if I was pushy or anything I probably didn’t notice lelel (pc pc). Was trying to tone down on the bulldozing passion that I sometimes work myself up into. What we talked about was something that I do think about and have also somewhat experienced so. Haha but I wish I could have been more eloquent. I’m so steeped in my religious POV that it’s a bit hard for me to relate. But yas, I know where you coming from. Wonder if I’ll regret saying this but don’t apologise for your thoughts, your experiences got you there and it may change, it may not. It’s cool. Haha. Yas.

Spent the rest of the day buying goodies which I’ll never get to eat. It’s my last week here and probably the last time I’ll meet my churchies so I’m prepping a little goodie bag plus a note (for those that I’m closer to) for them. Never used to do this at home. I think we just take people and things for granted at home. Plus, you’re more likely to meet them so not that much pressure of saying goodbye. Here though, I’ll prolly never meet these people again. So might as well. Just spend a bit to say bye. Prepped 12 full bags for now but I don’t know if it’ll be enough. Because I want to give it to my Chinese bible study group too but I don’t know how many people will actually come this week. I didn’t plan to give them so I bought too little now. Hmmm. Too few cards too. Bought some snacks/desserts for both groups though. Haven’t bought anything for my flatties yet. Grr I wish I could spend all my time prepping. I still have to study for one more paper.

Walked home, heavy laden through the rain (so sad). Came back to defrost mah chicken drumsticks and start cooking my rice which takes forever to cook. Popped the chicken in the oven to make soy sauce chicken. Took a shower while everything was cooking. Then boiled the veggies and made my egg souffle. Yum yum.

So now, my 12 goodie bags are packed and under my table and I keep kicking them cos I keep forgetting they’re there. Maybe I’ll switch the bags around so that I don’t keep kicking the same ones.

I have to try and bake something tomorrow because I want to give those. It’s still all up in the air because I don’t know if whatever it is I’m baking is presentable as a gift. The nutella/pb bread I was chugging was something I’d baked and it was so dense and dry that it’s taken to be a cake. I don’t think anyone else ate much of it so I ate a lot. Also cos it’s mine and if it’s not that good, let’s not make other people eat it haha. I like it enough to eat quite a lot of it.

And now my plate is empty and waiting to be washed, as is my mug of green tea. And I gotta catch some zzzs. So goodbye friends.

Didn’t study at all today. Well done you.